Being a Manager Isn’t the Same as Being a Leader

Here’s a question every people leader should ask themselves, honestly:

Why are you doing this?

Why did you choose to become a manager instead of staying an expert individual contributor?

For many leaders, this question has never really been examined. The path simply unfolded.

You were good at the work. You became one of the more senior or reliable people on the team. And at some point, becoming “the manager” felt like the natural next step, or maybe the only step available if you wanted to keep growing.

That’s understandable.
It’s also where a lot of problems quietly begin.

Because being a people leader isn’t just a bigger job.
It’s a different job.

And whether you realize it or not, the answer to why you’re doing it shapes how your team experiences you every single day.

The Two Common Paths Into People Leadership

There are two common paths into management, and neither begins with bad intent.

The first is the accidental manager.

You were a strong individual contributor. Capable. Reliable. Often the person others turned to for answers. When a management opening appeared, stepping into that role felt like the logical next move.

But nothing about that transition forced a deeper question.

No one asked whether you actually wanted to be responsible for other people’s growth.
No one asked whether you were willing to put their development ahead of your own.

So you took the role, learned on the job, and did your best, not because you were self-centered or power-hungry, but because the system nudged you there.

If this is you, I want to be very clear:

You are not behind.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
And you are not stuck.

A shift in mindset here can dramatically change your team’s performance and satisfaction, and your own effectiveness and fulfillment as a people leader.

The second path is more concerning.

This is the leader who wants power.

They want authority, visibility, status, and eventually the compensation that comes with being “in charge.” They talk about being people-first and human-centered. They tell compelling stories. But when pressure shows up, their actions reveal the truth.

Layoffs are handled with distance.
“Low performers” are cut aggressively.
Performance improvement plans become paperwork for exits, not tools for growth.

In both cases, the impact on the team is the same.

People feel vulnerable.

There’s a constant undercurrent of fear and uncertainty. Will you fall out of favor? Will a single mistake put you on a list? Are you valued as a person, or only as long as you’re useful?

When leadership is primarily self-serving, even when it’s well-packaged, trust never fully forms.

If you recognize yourself in this second path, I can’t help you.

What Changes for Path One Leaders

Most people leaders I work with came through the first path.

They didn’t set out to misuse power or put themselves first. They simply stepped into a role without fully recalibrating how they thought about leadership.

This is where a real choice becomes available.

You can continue operating primarily as a top individual contributor with direct reports attached.
Or you can make a deliberate shift and treat people leadership for what it actually is: a service role.

This doesn’t require a personality change.
It doesn’t require becoming softer.

It requires becoming clearer.

Clear that the role exists to serve the people on your team.
Clear about what success really means.
Clear about why you’re doing this work in the first place.

This Starts With Clarifying Your Why

Here’s the practical part.

If you’re in people leadership today, especially if you arrived through that first path—the most important work you can do is clarify your why.

This isn’t a branding exercise.
You don’t need to share it with anyone.
This is for you.

Ask yourself:

• What is my purpose as a leader?

• What kind of impact do I want to have on the people who work for me?

• How do I want them to describe their time on my team years from now?

• What does “doing right by them” actually look like in practice?

This becomes the foundation for how you lead.

Your decisions.
Your behavior.
How you give feedback.
How you hold boundaries.
How you show care.

Everything builds on this foundation.

Why This Changes Everything

When your purpose is clear and centered on serving your people, your motive becomes unmistakable.

Your team doesn’t have to guess why you’re pushing them.
They don’t wonder whose interests come first.

That clarity changes how everything lands, especially feedback.

Corrective feedback still isn’t easy to hear. But it no longer feels like a threat. It feels like guidance.

“I know you’re saying this because you want me to be better.”
“I know you’re on my side.”

At the peak of my own career as a people leader, this shift changed everything.

Before I clarified and centered on my purpose, I worked hard and held high standards, but there was still ambiguity. Afterward, my team knew, without guessing, that my job was to help them become their very best and live their best lives.

Once that was clear, trust deepened. Feedback landed differently. Accountability felt supportive instead of punitive.

Not because the work got easier.
But because the intent was no longer in doubt.

A Quiet Gut Check

So here’s the invitation:

If you’re a people leader today, take a moment and ask yourself,

Why am I really doing this?

You don’t need the perfect answer.
You just need an honest one.

Because the clarity you bring to that question will shape how your team experiences you far more than any framework, tool, or technique ever could.

Your people don’t just need clarity.
They need to know you care.

And that starts with knowing your why.

Cheers,
Jeff